Long before I fell in love with the study of the human body and enlisted myself in an all-consuming nursing school program, I worked in retail and attended school at a small Christian university where being an English student was a natural and easy-going path. The social scene for me was not as effortless though. I was often comforted with sanctimonious expressions of, "We were praying for you at our discipleship meeting today." Ok. Thanks. Chapel was a requirement at this school, and since there wasn't a dress code students would turn up in their class room casual outfits. Girls would frequently be adorned in their crude pajama pants with "PINK" scrolled across their bottoms, so it was a surprise to me when one day I was stopped a block away from the chapel by a less than pleased R.A. who believed her duties extended beyond the confines of the dorm she presided over:
R.A.: (with concerned, I've-been-praying-for-you face) Are you going to chapel?
me: (very confused face) It appears I am. Why?
R.A.: (shaking her head and pointing assertively at my get-up) You can't wear that.
me: (looking down to evaluate my Rolling Stones t-shirt, denim shorts, and cowboy boots and pointing back at myself) This?
R.A.: That. You cannot wear that in The House of The Lord.
me: (amused) ok....
I turned around and headed to work instead. I loved my job at Betsey Johnson (recently the store closed after becoming bankrupt....I guess the financial equivalent to what a few of my school chums thought I was morally.) Every month I could pick any free dress I wanted and any damaged items were also free, so my closet grew rapidly. It was a perfect college job.
Fast forward to present day Life-of-me: a wife, mom, and student trying to be a thousand things at once. Fancy dresses don't really make the list of important things anymore though, so one day I decided to Ebay them. So far I have streamlined my closet and earned about $600! More closet space, more money! Win-Win! In the process I also discovered a few hidden gems that I just couldn't imagine why I had stopped wearing! So, excitedly I threw on one such dress (an above the knee embroidered black lace one with a sheer hem) and headed to church with an elderly lady that I take every Sunday. We go to a breathtaking Catholic church with a very refined parish. I am not used to the customs of Catholics, but I think this sums up some of the physical demands on any given Sunday:
enter church, dip hand in Holy water, cross yourself, walk to pew, kneel/bow, sit, kneel, sit, stand, kneel, sit, stand, sit, kneel, sit, stand, shake hands with neighbors, kneel again, sit while parishioners receive communion, kneel when they get back, sit, kneel, stand, exit pew, kneel/bow, leave church and cross yourself on the way out the door
This particular Sunday I drank a lot of coffee. So, I had to make an exit to the ladies room because my post-baby-bladder was sending threatening messages to my brain. I exited the pew, bowed awkwardly because this is something I am not accustomed to and hurried along the way to the back of the church noting that the faces I encountered along the way all shared the same look of quiet revulsion. When I reached the ladies room I saw a full length mirror and decided to see what could be the matter..... I suppose when I bowed, I must have mooned about half of the congregation sitting behind me. In The House Of The Lord. It came back to me why I stopped wearing this dress: sheer hem too short to be considered decent. I thought, "Well Holy Ish, this is going to be an uncomfortable walk back to the pew." I did though and kneeled piously as I could, bowing only at my neck and not at my waist. When it came time to shake hands with my neighbors I gave my best I'm REALLY sorry face to the woman behind me who answered with a snide look. Understandable.
So perhaps the R.A. so many years ago wasn't too far off her mark. She may have been mothering me in some way that was as natural to her as denim, t-shirts, and cowboy boots are to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment